“Oh me, oh my!” you sob. “I am not capable of attending the Covenant College alumni open forum this coming Monday at 8pm because (pick any) a) I no longer reside within the Chattavegas area b) I have a tremendously important other plan for that night c) am a bitter, bitter alum who lives by the maxim ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.’ But I have a stunningly important, wickedly provocative, and cuttingly humorous question that simply must be asked. How oh how can I do this?”

Well, dear reader, I offer to you my services. I will be your proxy, take your stead at the forum, and ask your question for you. I will be your Jeff Gannon, without the adult website connections, and you won’t have to pay me anything, so no, in fact, I’ll be nothing like Jeff Gannon. But I am offering my services as a flak. Just don’t make me ask “How do you deal with students who have divorced themselves from reality?”

As for the response to your question, I will attempt to faithfully transcribe and post it in a timely and accurate fashion. Further, the college will be recording the event (video, audio, I don’t know), and I’ll be posting as to ho you might obtain those.

My questions, which may or may not actually become real questions, depending on quantum flux and such, as thus: “How does the college intend to act more transparently?”; “What values from the college’s past does the administration see as valuable, and how do you intend to translate them into a cogent plan for the future?”

You, no doubt, have better queries. A friendly army of comment boxes await your questions below.

February 27th, 2005 | Covenant